1. Caveat Emptor: Consumer beware!
When a child dies, not just any therapist will understand the complexities
and challenges of grieving family members. It is critical
to find a mental health professional who specializes in thanatology,
or death issues.
Even the best mental health professional cannot take away the stinging
pain of a child's death. An effective grief-trained therapist
will walk with you, help you connect with your feelings, and help
you discover ways to cope with the overwhelming sense of loss.
If you are not comfortable with the therapist, find another.
Sometimes, clergy are helpful in a counseling role, however, for
most, it also helps to have a secular vantage point in addition
to their faith counseling.
2. Why is therapy necessary?
Organizations like the MISS Foundation are here to provide a support
network for you and your family. However, we are not a therapy-oriented
group.
Many people seek counseling and therapy to help them balance their
ongoing lives with the chaos of emotions after a child has died.
Combining therapy with support groups, either online or in person,
are very effective techniques to help your family.
Therapy can also address past events that negatively affect your
daily functioning and further add to the trauma of your child's
death.
Therapy should be a safe place in which to talk about your issues
and generate some useful ideas in dealing with the immense sorrow
and trauma you face after your child's death but it can also help
to heal old wounds, likely to resurface during times of crisis.
3. You should know your rights as a patient,
ask questions, and be well-informed.
Client Rights:
- You have every right to expect your therapist to display respect
for you and to convey this respect by keeping appointments as
scheduled, by contacting you if scheduling changes are necessary,
and by giving her/his complete attention to you during therapy
sessions.
- At any point during therapy, you are encouraged to ask questions
regarding your therapist's qualifications, training, experience,
specialization areas and limitations, and personal values. You
will receive thoughtful and respectful answers.
- Since your needs are primary to your treatment, you are encouraged
to negotiate therapeutic goals, and renegotiate them whenever
you wish. You are further encouraged to ask questions regarding
the therapy process, specific treatment methods, therapy fees,
methods of payment, estimated length of treatment, office policy
and practices, and diagnosis.
- You may refuse any intervention or treatment strategy suggested
by your therapist and you may refuse to answer any questions.
- Within the limits of published ethical standards and the law,
information you reveal to your therapist will be maintained as
confidential and will not be communicated to another person or
agency without your written permission. The rare legal limits
to confidentiality will be clearly described at your intake session,
and you may discuss any aspect of your treatment with others,
including consulting with another therapist.
- Your therapist adheres to the American Psychological Association
and your State Board of Psychology Ethical Standards for Psychologists.
If you have a doubt or grievance regarding your therapist's conduct,
you may solicit assistance from these organizations. Under no
circumstances are "dual relationships" permitted between
therapist and patient, especially including business, social,
romantic, or sexual contact of any kind.
4. You can expect to meet with an individual
who has been through many years of academic and professional training.
You can and should expect your therapist to listen, truly listen.
An effective therapist will ask you some questions about your background
and life experiences as well as personal beliefs, mores, and values.
Most sessions are once per week for about 50 minutes. Due to the traumatic
nature of child death, the visits may be more frequent depending on
familial and community support available to you. Therapists
styles will vary from person to person.
5.
It is never too late to seek therapy. Whether it is a child's death
that occurred 10 or 30 years ago, or some other very traumatic event,
it is never too late to seek help. Old wounds open easily and
at times, therapy is the only way to help yourself deal with those
wounds. Pain from the past can interfere with decisions, patterns
of behavior, self-esteem, and many other aspects of your life.
Please seek help.
6. Bereaved
children should see a good therapist at least three times. It
is very difficult to understand the way children grieve. Often,
they are overlooked in the grief journey. While it may seem that they
are doing "okay" and they may not be expressing strong emotions,
we recommend at least three therapy sessions to assess a child's true
emotional and mental state after such a traumatic event. Often, family
members are not trained to recognized children's grief responses.
It is very important that children have a safe place to share and
discuss their feelings. Take care of their grief issues now
so that they can grow up to be emotionally healthy adults.
The MISS Foundation (c) 2003
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